Sign Language

One of the unexpected joys of living in Japan — right after the vending machines that sell everything from hot coffee to neckties — is the signage.

I'm not talking about majestic kanji scrolls or elegant calligraphy. Rather, I’m talking about the glorious, unintentional comedy gold that happens when Japanese signs take a brave leap into English... and land somewhere between "poetic haiku" and "alien transmission."

Sign, sign. Everywhere a sign.

Some of these signs are funny before you know what they mean. Some are funny because you find out what they mean. And some are so sincere and earnest that they loop all the way back around to accidentally profound.

Signs that say things like “Please do not feed your hand to the machine,” and “Beware of slippery people.” (Okay, I made one of those up — but only one.)

Let’s take a stroll through the wonderfully weird, beautifully mistranslated, and occasionally enlightening world of Japanese signs. I'll show you the original and my first impression of what it's meaning is, then present the translated version. Which, as I mentioned in often funnier than my own interpretation!

To me, without knowing the translation, this sign says, "Do not throw rocks at your kid's head." I was way off.

No idea what is so dangerous about that house down there. I haven't mustered up the nerve to peak over the fence. Also, what AM I supposed to do with all this garbage if I can't throw it away?!

Yeah, I was way off on this one as well. My thought was this says don't sniff the butt of the hedgehog in front of you. In reality, it was just a cute warning about wild boar who, in reality, will rip your face off.

The Japanese are so polite.

OK. I totally got this one. The sign says "Drunken Children Not Allowed In The Street."

Nah.

I mean... OK. After all the previous stern warnings about garbage, I guessed what this was going to translate out to. I just thought, for a minute, I took a wrong turn on my daily walk and somehow ended up in the Swiss Alps. Just sayin'.

Let's move on.

My goodness! What DO they do with all that poop at home? And, is that dog in the last image enjoying a poopsicle?!?!

I'll be adding more images as I come across them. Stay tuned!